My timeline.

I was browsing through my Facebook timeline up until 2007, when I first joined Facebook.

Its funny how nearly all the main events of my life of these last years years either show through my statuses (unless I have deleted them, heh...) either through people's posts or pictures.

Gosh, how much has happened since 2007! So much good and so much not so good.
Its not always easy, and especially its not easy to put on a good face and trying to be optimistic about things.


Throughout my timeline, I noticed how lucky I have been meeting awesome people and sort of "being in the right place, at the right moment". I appreciate what people have given me all the way during these last years and I hope they all know how grateful I am.

One thing is for sure, everything happens of a reason! And if the reason isn't so obvious, look for it. There is a rational explanation and a reason for why things turn out the way they do. I guess there's also a reason why some people  show up in your life, and surely also why some leave it...

I feel the need to add that there's a bunch of jerks out there, I really hope they grow out of that stage, 'cause they did seem like pretty fine at a first glance...

All in all. Enjoy the ride. See that there is a reason for everything going on. Be optimistic. For every shit that hits you, there'll be a ray of sunshine shining down also. ;-)


And last, here is a video definitely worth to check out.

New Chapter, part 1.

Due to some reasons major changes in my life, I have decide to turn a page and start a new chapter.
This coming year, is going to be my year.

When I tell people that I am now single, their first reaction is them feeling sorry me. But dude, it's fine. It has to be. Feeling sorry or sad is not going to help. To be honest, I am heartbroken. But it's part of the whole process. And life goes on.


I  have heard from various sources that you cannot expect someone to take care of your own happiness (note, I do believe that there are people, who do care about your happiness, but you cannot hand over the whole responsibility to someone else). And nothing is black or white, nothing is easy in these things. Its not like you are in love,everything feels awesome vs. no love, feeling nothing at all. No, there are shades of grey, which make it all the more difficult.

There is no use actually it explaining the why's and how's. I know, and thats the main thing.

Right now, I am just going to focus on what I want to do. This is my time. My year.

Oh, I do not feel 100% good about this. I feel totally empty, this could somewhat compare to being unable to feel anything. Instead of feeling bad, sorry and crying, I am just blocking all the feelings I have and trying not think about them anymore. Whats done is done, but it does hit you back in the face from time to time. Of course, it takes some adjusting.

My mood keeps going up and down, but hey - life goes on. The weather is amazing, summer holidays are about the begin and I have awesome friends around me. It's gonna be just fine... :-)

Best weather possible to blog outside!

Master of Arts

Miracles happen! After four years of hard work, I have finally graduated from the University of Vaasa as a Master of Arts, in Intercultural Studies in Communication and Administration.

The graduation ceremony itself was on Friday. It was a really lovely day, just me and my parents at the University.
Saturday and Sunday we had small parties, first at my house then at the "family place" at the real country side. I also had some cake to celebrate at work on Monday.
Four years of hard work deserved four days of celebration, right...? I think so, at least. You should always find reaons to celebrate anyway.  "All the small things... "

At the ceremony on Friday, the dean of my faculty (Philosophy) made a speech before handing out the diplomas. All in all, he wanted us to consider what this graduation actually meant. He encouraged us to sparkle, to make a change around us. He reminded us that the most important things to do is to always thank and support. Whether in the working life or private life. (cheers to that).

I have heard very many remarkable speeches or lessons at Vaasa throughout these years; and I have to say that this very last one, spoke to me.

Of course, you have to both be and do something. Not just lay as a dead fish, going with the flow.

Maybe you will not see the results of your efforts right away, but you need to give a shot.

To sum it up, a great conclusion to my efforts. The best reward was to spend time with my family and friends. I received many hugs and as many flowers.

Thank you all. <3

Friends

There are many sayings about how real friends show in the most difficult situations.

The proof lies in front of my eyes right now. I do not know, whether these people are actually really full of themselves, or are they not that open to discuss issues or what... but the feeling of being let down by people you considered as close friends is really something out of this world.

I decided I'd let this feeling  last something like 2 seconds ( or just a bit more, just to write this post), because its really not worth it. I really do not want to get this bad feeling "win".


I really believe that saying something is always better that being silent. It's my way of dealing with things. And arrogantly, I think its the best way. Silence can be interpreted in many ways.

But now. No regrets, only forgets.

"its a new dawn..."

Lastly, I am deeply grateful to have found my true friends, in these difficult times. Thank you for listening to me, telling me what I need to hear or maybe sometimes, do not want to hear. Your advice and your experience are valuable. I hope you know, dear friends, how important you are to me.

And as lousy as this may sound, when everything is broken, you can either decide to rebuild everything as it was or take a chance at making this better. I opt for the second.

Hellu 2.0.

Its just me and the cats from now-on.

Back to earth.

As it easy as it may sound, but hearing about issues far worse that your own, brings you back down to earth at warp speed.

I learnt that someone I know took his own life. He was not my friend, but the best friend of one of my friends. Seeing the despair in his eyes made it real. Because  the news it self feels incredible surreal. He was alive, just some days ago. And now he is gone. Really gone.

I wonder if the people who decide to take their own lives think about those that continue to live after them?

This has been, overall, a bit of a tough day but nothing to compare with the people close to this person, who decided to leave a bit in advance.

Lets just try to live and keep thinking that it will get better.

Why not?

To quote Holstee, once again, I started thinking about what do you with my life...

What about a change of carrier?

DONE!

Courses, thesis and maturity exam.

Couldn't be prouder.

What a feeling...

My thesis turn out to be 94 pages long, huh. I am only starting to realise how much stress I was under and what a huuuge part my studies took in my life. Especially these last months. It was like having two jobs. 

This morning, for the first time this year, I could sleep late without feeling bad about my thesis or homework. 

I am free, I can do what I really want know. :-) 

To be honest, and a bit cliché maybe, I feel like I wasn't living to the fullest until now, and that I need to focus/figure out, what it is I want. I enjoy the job, I enjoy my house and my cats, need to figure out what to do with the rest... But that's life, ain't it? As long as you remember the main deal: it's all gonna turn out just alright. No need to worry [been doing too much of that] 

Over and out. 

"... mutta lupaan että huominen on joskus monen vuoden takainen"