The biggest challenges.

This year has sure been all about challenges...

On 31.12.2012, my status update was: "Happy New Year! Rock on for 2013! I have a feeling it's gonna be an awesome year!" Little did I know back then...  

I had felt a bit down earlier this week and I went to see my second family in Kokkola, which includes my goddaughter Kristiina. When leaving, she told me "halitaan", that is "let's hug". And at that moment, I realized how stupid I was for feeling sad - everything is actually just fine. Its pointless to focus on small worries and people who don't care for you. Bright up, sunshine.

And, I have already written loads and loads about what has happened during this year (that is, a fair amount on the personal level). But there is also a lot I can be proud of at the professional level... 

I had been working on a project since January. I was quite stressed about it and wanted it to work out perfectly. It was a seminar for 70 + students and their teachers, from our partner universities around Europe. They were staying for a week at Pietarsaari. I wasn't so much in charge of the content - but of the practical aspect and that everything flowed well...

It just ended and all in all, it went well. And that feels amazing. I met fantastic people, I enjoyed myself doing my job, I felt like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. It was the biggest ego, professional, you-name-it boost I needed without really it knowing.

I gave a mini-speech to the students at the closing ceremony, telling (reminding?)them that they should travel the world and find their own place. I also told them that "sometimes, the biggest challenges turn out to be the most rewarding." - I mainly said it out loud to myself, because this week turned out the best "surprise" I didn't expect.

 In reply, the students cheered, clapped and whistled and I, ...  I felt the happiest.

Now, I am tired but happy and sort of ready for the coming challenges... :-)

A month to go till Christmas, not sure if its going to be in Finland or France, at least I can start preparing my Christmas cards!

No Guts, No Glory.

"The saying "No Guts, No Glory" means that without bravery and courage to take risks, one will not get any benefit. People who take risks, try new things, will benefit from the things they experience and learn"

A less good day

Its not a 'bad day'. Its just a 'less good day'. Just being on a bad mood because of close to everything and being tired... Seems like I'm only waiting for something nice to happen. And good things happen to those that wait, right?

One bad aspect of being on a bad mood is being totally unable to hide my feelings when I get mad. I just snap. It's really not a nice view when that happens. Need to work on that. At least at work, I really can't show if something pisses me off. I am supposed to be the "grown-up" (wtf?).

But hey, that's part of life. Good days vs. bad days. You gotta learn to go with the flow to some extent. Hopefully this days is still gonna turn into something great. We do have some cool plans this evening and for the weekend with my friend A., so it can only better! I just can't get that one thing out of my head, unfortunately its something that 100% out of my control now...

Word.

Bliss.

I wish I could hold onto this feeling for ever. The feeling that everything is well, everything is in balance. It won't last for ever, so lets just enjoy.

So, is this adulthood? Accepting that things don't always turn out the way you want? But that its gonna be fine anyhow...?

I find myself just smiling on my own, its not because of anyone in particular - but thanks to everything and everyone around. I feel so lucky. Just happy.

This summer has been so good to me. I am staying away from people draining the good things away from me and I'm enjoying the company of people that give so much. These people may be close-by or a bit further away, I know they are there. Its all I need.

Summer of '13 was all about friends, food, enjoying and... tattoo!

There is a long story behind the spiral. I used to draw them everywhere back in high-school. When I started of thinking of a tattoo, I looked up the symbolism of the spiral and thats what helped me make my mind up.

The Spiral is and ancient symbol of evolution, one of the oldest pagan symbols in existence. It represents the cycle of the seasons and the cycles of Life, growth and change. Although each loop of the spiral brings one back to the same place, it takes one to a higher and more evolved level at each turn.

So here we are again, sort of starting again, but its only getting better. I am in no hurry. Everything is gonna turn out fine.

what is meant to happen, will happen.

Looking back.

Today, I have been thinking of how I felt a year ago. Then, I was quite sure that at this time (July 2013), I would be engaged and a house owner.

One year ago, I think I saw that life was set to go a certain way, with no real options left to change it.

Well... now, things are quite different, to say the least. Nothing is set. I am not engaged but single, I am not owning anything else but a car, a fair amount of furniture and two cats. That's my life.

As scary it might feel - to some extent - that I have no actual set plans for the future. It also means that all my options are open. Right now, I could still decide to move to another city or country...

For the first time in many years, I have been thinking that moving one day back to France is not that bad of an option. 

I really wonder what life will look like in one year's time. :-)

Lesson learnt

"you really need to learn to stop hammering on a locked door". (or something to the same extent)

Oh, boy!

In addition to that, it's important to let loose and just enjoy. I forgot that somewhere along the way.

This summer is just about laughing out loud, eating, dancing, friends, swimming, cycling in a city that's fallen asleep.

A huge thank you, merci, kiitos to you people around me.

Lucky me.

My timeline.

I was browsing through my Facebook timeline up until 2007, when I first joined Facebook.

Its funny how nearly all the main events of my life of these last years years either show through my statuses (unless I have deleted them, heh...) either through people's posts or pictures.

Gosh, how much has happened since 2007! So much good and so much not so good.
Its not always easy, and especially its not easy to put on a good face and trying to be optimistic about things.


Throughout my timeline, I noticed how lucky I have been meeting awesome people and sort of "being in the right place, at the right moment". I appreciate what people have given me all the way during these last years and I hope they all know how grateful I am.

One thing is for sure, everything happens of a reason! And if the reason isn't so obvious, look for it. There is a rational explanation and a reason for why things turn out the way they do. I guess there's also a reason why some people  show up in your life, and surely also why some leave it...

I feel the need to add that there's a bunch of jerks out there, I really hope they grow out of that stage, 'cause they did seem like pretty fine at a first glance...

All in all. Enjoy the ride. See that there is a reason for everything going on. Be optimistic. For every shit that hits you, there'll be a ray of sunshine shining down also. ;-)


And last, here is a video definitely worth to check out.

New Chapter, part 1.

Due to some reasons major changes in my life, I have decide to turn a page and start a new chapter.
This coming year, is going to be my year.

When I tell people that I am now single, their first reaction is them feeling sorry me. But dude, it's fine. It has to be. Feeling sorry or sad is not going to help. To be honest, I am heartbroken. But it's part of the whole process. And life goes on.


I  have heard from various sources that you cannot expect someone to take care of your own happiness (note, I do believe that there are people, who do care about your happiness, but you cannot hand over the whole responsibility to someone else). And nothing is black or white, nothing is easy in these things. Its not like you are in love,everything feels awesome vs. no love, feeling nothing at all. No, there are shades of grey, which make it all the more difficult.

There is no use actually it explaining the why's and how's. I know, and thats the main thing.

Right now, I am just going to focus on what I want to do. This is my time. My year.

Oh, I do not feel 100% good about this. I feel totally empty, this could somewhat compare to being unable to feel anything. Instead of feeling bad, sorry and crying, I am just blocking all the feelings I have and trying not think about them anymore. Whats done is done, but it does hit you back in the face from time to time. Of course, it takes some adjusting.

My mood keeps going up and down, but hey - life goes on. The weather is amazing, summer holidays are about the begin and I have awesome friends around me. It's gonna be just fine... :-)

Best weather possible to blog outside!

Master of Arts

Miracles happen! After four years of hard work, I have finally graduated from the University of Vaasa as a Master of Arts, in Intercultural Studies in Communication and Administration.

The graduation ceremony itself was on Friday. It was a really lovely day, just me and my parents at the University.
Saturday and Sunday we had small parties, first at my house then at the "family place" at the real country side. I also had some cake to celebrate at work on Monday.
Four years of hard work deserved four days of celebration, right...? I think so, at least. You should always find reaons to celebrate anyway.  "All the small things... "

At the ceremony on Friday, the dean of my faculty (Philosophy) made a speech before handing out the diplomas. All in all, he wanted us to consider what this graduation actually meant. He encouraged us to sparkle, to make a change around us. He reminded us that the most important things to do is to always thank and support. Whether in the working life or private life. (cheers to that).

I have heard very many remarkable speeches or lessons at Vaasa throughout these years; and I have to say that this very last one, spoke to me.

Of course, you have to both be and do something. Not just lay as a dead fish, going with the flow.

Maybe you will not see the results of your efforts right away, but you need to give a shot.

To sum it up, a great conclusion to my efforts. The best reward was to spend time with my family and friends. I received many hugs and as many flowers.

Thank you all. <3

Friends

There are many sayings about how real friends show in the most difficult situations.

The proof lies in front of my eyes right now. I do not know, whether these people are actually really full of themselves, or are they not that open to discuss issues or what... but the feeling of being let down by people you considered as close friends is really something out of this world.

I decided I'd let this feeling  last something like 2 seconds ( or just a bit more, just to write this post), because its really not worth it. I really do not want to get this bad feeling "win".


I really believe that saying something is always better that being silent. It's my way of dealing with things. And arrogantly, I think its the best way. Silence can be interpreted in many ways.

But now. No regrets, only forgets.

"its a new dawn..."

Lastly, I am deeply grateful to have found my true friends, in these difficult times. Thank you for listening to me, telling me what I need to hear or maybe sometimes, do not want to hear. Your advice and your experience are valuable. I hope you know, dear friends, how important you are to me.

And as lousy as this may sound, when everything is broken, you can either decide to rebuild everything as it was or take a chance at making this better. I opt for the second.

Hellu 2.0.

Its just me and the cats from now-on.

Back to earth.

As it easy as it may sound, but hearing about issues far worse that your own, brings you back down to earth at warp speed.

I learnt that someone I know took his own life. He was not my friend, but the best friend of one of my friends. Seeing the despair in his eyes made it real. Because  the news it self feels incredible surreal. He was alive, just some days ago. And now he is gone. Really gone.

I wonder if the people who decide to take their own lives think about those that continue to live after them?

This has been, overall, a bit of a tough day but nothing to compare with the people close to this person, who decided to leave a bit in advance.

Lets just try to live and keep thinking that it will get better.

Why not?

To quote Holstee, once again, I started thinking about what do you with my life...

What about a change of carrier?

DONE!

Courses, thesis and maturity exam.

Couldn't be prouder.

What a feeling...

My thesis turn out to be 94 pages long, huh. I am only starting to realise how much stress I was under and what a huuuge part my studies took in my life. Especially these last months. It was like having two jobs. 

This morning, for the first time this year, I could sleep late without feeling bad about my thesis or homework. 

I am free, I can do what I really want know. :-) 

To be honest, and a bit cliché maybe, I feel like I wasn't living to the fullest until now, and that I need to focus/figure out, what it is I want. I enjoy the job, I enjoy my house and my cats, need to figure out what to do with the rest... But that's life, ain't it? As long as you remember the main deal: it's all gonna turn out just alright. No need to worry [been doing too much of that] 

Over and out. 

"... mutta lupaan että huominen on joskus monen vuoden takainen"

Going ahead.

There go the memos!

This week saw something big happen - namely, my Master's thesis was printed! Hurray. This means, maturity exam and then... graduation!

I still do not realise it. Maybe a bit when I returned all the books I had borrowed from the library. I had to take out all the post-its from the books. That was hard work! ;-)

At Feeniks.

The best way to celebrate having my thesis accepted was eating Chinese food at the local Chinese restaurant, with a some Tsingtao please. The food doesn't compare to Shanghai's food, but it will have to do for now... 

I will soon order these bamboo steam cookers so I can try preparing dumplings. I had no time/energy  before but I really want/need to try to do those.. Maybe they will taste good with enough of Tsingtao.. ;-)

Something is alive alright!

 Another good thing this week: the weather finally figured out we are actually in April and not in October! The snow is nearly all gone and the sun is shining from time to time. Awesomeness. This means its soon time to go stick my nose in the garden. I had to check out the situation and see if there was anything alive out there. Something is actually starting to grow. Hurray for that!

I cannot wait for warmer nights so I can actually plant stuff outside and not be afraid that the plants actually all die over night. :-) My mother is real good with gardens, I am trying to take example on her, but no luck there. I am just happy if the plants stay alive for sometime, doesn't really need to be perfect.

Lili, my little garden helper. :-)

Ah, I cannot wait to be able to walk barefoot in the grass. One of the nicest feelinga... :-)

And talking about Spring and warmer weather, I tried my "Spring jacket", which I was last wearing in Shanghai. I put my hands in my pockets and found some Chinese coins. Shanghai has been on my mind recently... I do not know if I can go back there anytime soon but I do cherish the memories related to China and Shanghai. My last trip there was somehow so much better than any time before. The people, the weather and so on. A real eye-opener. These coins are lucky tokens, I bet.

Hedelmäpeliin?

Looking for signs

Been looking for a sign to know what to think. Not sure about much right now.
Actually, I am know what sign I want to see, ain't it then a sign in itself...

All the small things.

Small things can make a huge difference.

Whether in a good way or in a bad way.

Small attention and small inattentions.

Nice words and words left unsaid.

Looking back or not even giving a look.

The small things help divide the people that are worthwhile and those that are not.

A little step for mankind, a huge step for Hellu.

Eighty-one pages...

My 81 pages- long thesis was sent yesterday to my thesis adviser/supervisor.

I have been at it for nearly a year. I did not work on it intensely for the last year, I had these periods, during which I would write a lot and get a lot done, and some other periods when I would mainly think it about it..

Actually sending it away did not feel as awesome as I thought it would: I started crying. It was like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders and I actually realized what I had just done.My biggest/most important "homework" so far and probably the last, for some time...

Well, it was just the 1st final version, which means I will still have to do some corrections to it - but hey, I did it. :-)

Now, I might actually have what is called free time... Time to do what I actually love to do!

Back to taking pictures? ..


A reminder of what one should actually always bear in mind.

Find out more: http://shop.holstee.com/pages/about

Favor

I received an email from a former student asking to try to convince his little brother to go on Erasmus. Here is what I wrote to him...

Your brother told me something about you considering (maybe) taking part in the Erasmus exchange programme and that you were still hesitating.

Let me start with the negative sides of Erasmus (because there are less bad sides that goods sides):

• the paperwork, bureaucracy, you cannot escape it! Papers to fill before you can go, whilst you are abroad and even when you come back.
•  homesickness, if you are really attached to your home and family, it might be a bit rough at the beginning

But there are so many good aspects to taking part in Erasmus…

•   Being abroad, an interruption to everyday life, you get to enjoy a new country as a citizen, not as a tourist. This means you will get so much more out it. And later on, when you’re old, you can think and even say it out loud: there was this time, when I lived in Finland…
•  Meeting people from all around the world and creating your own network. I think your brother might have told about how many friends from all over the world he has now – not only do you live with these people for half a year or a year and become more than friends…
• As in, you become a family, you are all outlanders, far from home and in a new place: how ever different you might be, this brings you together and you figure out how some people can come close in a very short period of time.
• You can learn so much. Of course at school, you will be able to take part in lessons that you wouldn’t have in your home country. It’s always added value to you and your CV. You will also learn to become even more self-reliable, independent, etc.  You will also learn things like making Chinese dumplings with your Chinese roommate or ice-fishing with your tutor.
• You will develop your language skills, English of course, but maybe also Spanish, French, Italian… there are usually a lot of Erasmus students at the same university and you can learn a lot from them. J
•  It will open you new doors. Imagine if you find your dream internship when you are abroad or get some awesome ideas for your future by meeting this one teacher in Finland? Sometimes, its all about meeting the right people.
• You will grow as a person, maybe a better self-esteem (surviving in Finland requires some skills;-) ), maybe better social skills, maybe some others skills. In any case, an upgraded version of yourself, prior Erasmus.

All in all, I am not saying this because it’s my job. Nope. This is my job because I really believe in everything written above. Erasmus brings you much more than just credits. Friends, experiences, but most of all OPPORTUNITIES!

Erasmus is an awesome opportunity, catch it when you can!

This could actually concern anyone still hesitating about going abroad. I could still add many good reasons to this, but its a good start. 

picture from weheartit.com

22 Things Happy People Do Differently

weheartit.com

 "

There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness doesn’t come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within. The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, smiling and content with their life. Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.

The question is: how do they do that?

It’s quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that they …

 1. Don’t hold grudges.

Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.

2. Treat everyone with kindness.

Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.

3. See problems as challenges.

The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.

4. Express gratitude for what they already have.

There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.

5. Dream big

People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.
Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.
8. Never make excuses.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.
9. Get absorbed into the present.
Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.
10. Wake up at the same time every morning.
Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.
11. Avoid social comparison.
Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.
12. Choose friends wisely.
Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.
13. Never seek approval from others.
Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.
14. Take the time to listen.
Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.
15. Nurture social relationships.
A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.
16. Meditate.
Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.
17. Eat well.
Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.
18. Exercise.
Exercising boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.
19. Live minimally.
Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.
20. Tell the truth.
Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.
21. Establish personal control.
Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.
22. Accept what cannot be changed.
Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better. 

" 

Text borrowed from here.